(First posted on 4th October 2008)
Against my better judgment, I tripped. I like someone I shouldn't.
One day, when I left logic at home, this is what happened:
Every step we take, going up the stairs means the closer we are to reality again. I have to do something before this moment pass. Or else I will miss it.
Oh, be brave. Say it. Need something. Need courage.
My hand went up and slapped him across the face. I kept on walking. He stopped.
"What's that about?"
Turn around. Look at him.
"You ignored me."
"I don't get it."
Tired of pretending. Just get it out. "I like you. I like you a lot." Look on the floor.
He slumped against the wall. Sad. Points to his watch. "I am leaving in two weeks. What do you want me to do?"
Nothing. I just want you to know. "Can't you tell at all?"
"There are times when I thought you might. And then you will come back with insults. You are so hard to read, you know that?"
You're not the first to say this. "I am always around clients. Learn to keep everything inside."
"Oh, and I don't have relationships with colleague."
That's my line. "Me too." Smile.
"Then we don't have a problem there."
Then why do you still look so sad? I am sorry I made you sad. "I am sorry. I am so sorry."
Whisper. "Don't be. Don't be."
Did you think I slept with your friend? "I am not a slut."
"I didn't suggest that."
Well I did not. I did not do anything with your friend. I'd always like you. "I am no slut and I am not cheap either."
"I am easy."
Huh? I didn't get that at all. But I won't ask. I like you because... you are you. Who are you, really? "I'm not easily impressed and you impressed me. Well, it's your fault you're such a nerd."
"I am not."
Offended? I meant it in a good way. I am quite nerdy too. "Yes, you are."
"You like nerds?"
Nod. Tired. Tired. Relieved. Tired. I can't believe I said all that!
"Why are you shaking your head?"
This is not something I've ever done, you know? I must really like you a lot. Now I am embarrassed. Oh why did I have to say all that? Relieved and embarassed!! "Nothing..."
"Let's walk. Come on."
Still embarrassed. Hurr~~~. "I am not bad, you know!" Your loss. Hmpph!