Saturday, February 7, 2009

You need to, sayang

My face fell when she said that. Here I am surrounded by big boobies filipino ladies.

I am again at the unfortunate Lucky Plaza because my tailor is there and I needed to get my jeans altered.

I was skipping and past the much talked about #04-88 that sells all kinda SEA beauty products. And that is one heck of a collection, I must say.

The varieties of mandi lulur, kojic soap, papaya soap alone is crazy. But the other stuff. Oh my! I can't help standing there and reading all the dodgy printing on the boxes with all sorts of female body parts (clothed, of course) printed on them.

There's one soap called Virginity that makes me laugh. It's actually a feminine soap but claims to also "tightens vaginal muscle". I thought ok... unless you've had 5 kids, you don't need that right? At the same time, the thought that the men might be just as crazy to make their women suffer. Read more about it here:

Side tracked without actually going into my unfortunate incident. You see, as I was reading all the labels uuu-ing and aaah-ing at all the things I didn't know exists, the lady from the store came and talk to me in Tagalog. I smiled. I pointed to a bust enhancement soap and said, "How do you use this?"

"Oh sayang, this is soap only. Use at bath. But for you... need more. Use this cream. Massage at night. Many singapore girls buy. You should use this. You need. You massage around, don't touch nipple."

I had a look on my face. It was self-pity mix with embarrassment. I felt like a man for a moment and I thought my gut was sticking out too. Gosh... My tummy is sticking out further than my breasts??
I just nod, pay for the cream and dashed out. Now that I am in the right state of mind again, I've googled and found equally dodgy sites selling it at exorbitant prices!

I can't find much info on forums about the effectiveness of this. Or whether anyone's breasts fell off using it. For the time being, I will just sit here looking at the box wondering what will jump out if I ever open it.

Side note: while googling with keywords "bust cream" I came upon transvestite bust cream, bust pills, bras, hair depilator... I know now things I didn't 30 minutes ago. I cannot undo the knowledge...

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